Annus Horribilis - Latin for horrible year.
Aestas Horribilis - Latin for horrible summer.
This is how I feel as Summer 2010 races toward the record book.
I have been in a virtual fog since losing my brother in April. I have not slept through the night since his death and I feel stagnant. Unmoving.
I have been touched by the kind thoughts, gestures and prayers from so many people, a lot of them strangers. But I have been greatly hurt by some close family members and friends who have treated me like s*^t.
I just need this fog to lift.
On Friday, my friend Laura got married. A week before her wedding, her mom passed away.
It is heartbreaking to conceive how her mom can die on a Friday and then the next Friday, marry. I cried as did many other guests when her dad was introduced into the reception hall and when she had her first dance and of course, when she danced with her dad. But, she looked lovely and I wish her all of God's great goodness.
But really. Can this summer have been any worse?
I have Fall to look forward to.
Fall is my favorite time of year.
The changing of the leaves hint at a fresh start.
So, I am ready for this -
And this.
And oh yeah. This.
Good riddance Summer of 2010. I will not look back on you fondly.
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12 comments:
I've always felt the same way. Fall is the time for out with the old and in with the new. :)
I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope the new season brings a fresh change for you. Fall is my favorite time of the year as well. I wish you all the best this season.
I love fall as well. There is just something crisp and fresh in the air and surroundings. May you find peace this fall. May God bless you this fall.
Jeanette
I have high hopes for Fall, too, Carmie! While I did not have a loss this year ~ we actually gained a family member ~ it was a horrible Summer in my book weather-wise. I don't think there's been a Summer that I did not enjoy as much as this Summer. I was so uncomfortable. Plus, I quit smoking so that might have something to do with the mood, but the weather really was bad here, wasn't it?
i am looking forward to autumn too. it is always my favorite time of year. i am so looking forward to it that i already changed my blog background to a fall design. beautiful fall photos! thanks for sharing!
I HOPE you will find the courage in your soul... I wish you better days ... I WISH that fall brings you some peace in your heart and softens your sorrows
morgane
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself ~ grief is a different process for everyone. I feel so sad for your friend too. I know it must have been so difficult for them to go ahead with the wedding after the loss of her mother.
Sending you comfort, healing and caring.
Pat
Carmie,
Fall is my least favorite season, but I understand and appreciate the feelings of those, like you, that love the dramtic color change, the sense of ending/beginning. I hope the change will sooth your saddened heart. The fresh, white blanket of winter's first snow always makes me feel like the world has been cleansed and all can be new again. Whatever it takes, I hope you find what you need to feel 'right' again. Rita
Following you already on New Friend Friday! My fan page, “Inspire!” has quotes, poems and stories to inspire readers. I’d like to invite you to stop by!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Inspire/338562522284?ref=ts
It certainly has been a long tough summer for you. I'm so sorry about your friend's Mom, too.
Here's hoping Fall brings gentler times to you.
What a great blog!! I am really enjoying looking around. Thanks for sharing!! I am now a new follower!! Nicole @ colieskitchen.com BTW I found you on Bloggy Blog Hop!!
love your blog:) so sorry to read about your brother. i lost my brother too recently. suddenly and unexpected. my brother and dear friend..the other half of my soul. not enough words in the world to describe the pain and loss. take care of yourself. xo
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