June 11, 2010

History Interrupted

My brother is 5 years older than me. Notice how I say "is" instead of "was." He will always be 5 years older than me.In the future, I am sure someone will ask me if I have any brothers or sisters. And I will always say one because I do have only one.

Since my brother is 5 years older than me, he is more aware of what was going on in our family's life back in the day. I was 1 and he was 6. I was 5 and he was 10. So naturally, he would be more aware and know more things because he is older.

Now that he has passed, half of my history is gone. And it totally sucks.

I grieve for the lost stories and knowledge.

I grieve that I am all alone.

I grieve for what was and for what would have been.
I grieve.

9 comments:

Angie said...

Carmie, he IS adorable. Love that first picture, which shows he IS a happy child...lol. It really is cute.

Janel said...

wow... I have read through a couple of your posts and I just can't image what you are going through.

I will definately keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

stopping by from New Friend Friday and I am now a new follower.

I am going to keep reading through your older posts as well.....

Janel
Mackenzie's Crafty Mom

Ron Cooper said...

Very sorry for your loss. I lost both my parents last year, and it is so very hard.

I’m following you now on New Friend Friday! Please follow me back on my blog “Inspire!”

My latest inspirational postings are, “Springtime Beauty,” “The Power,” “The Triumphant Heart,” “Pure Love,” “Peace of Mind,” and “Simple Gesture.”

Ron

http://inspiredbyron.blogspot.com/

D and A said...

Stopping to visit from last weeks New Friend Friday! Sorry that it has taken me so long but thanks for stopping by my blog and saying hello!

Your post is really touching!
Amy @ Things & Stuff

Leslie said...

Carmie..

I know!

It's the worst feeling in the world. I've told you before that having lost my family I grieve the "what could've beens".. I hate it. I am so sorry that you and your family have gone through this.
You will always have an older brother. He may not be here in physical presence now.. but he was here,and he is in you.

meanwhile he watches over his baby sister from afar.

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Perfect moments forever captured. I am thinking of you dear one.

Lisa B. said...

You're in my thoughts Carmie. Sending you hugs from afar.

Holly said...

Sweet photos...I know you miss him. I am so sorry for your loss. Make me think about my own brother who I do not speak to.

Bromeliad said...

Awww. I'm so sorry.

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