June 8, 2010

D.W.C. - Driving While Crying

Since my brother's passing, some things are okay but in some respects, some other things are getting worse.

I don't usually cry when I see others cry. I am so used to being the strong one and putting others before me that I hold on to the tears.

I try not to cry in front of dad or my nieces. Once again, trying to be strong.

So, I cry before I fall asleep each night.

And, I cry while driving.

I don't know what it is. Maybe because no one can see me and I am all alone with my thoughts.

It is probably not a good thing to cry while driving from Point A to Point B.

But right now, it's all I got.
"Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly." - Author Unknown


Laura said...

Honey - I have been there. I remember walking through the grocery store to pick up tissues - lots of tissues - on the way to my sister's house the day after my dear brother-in-law was killed in a car accident, and seeing people laughing and joking. I wanted to scream at them - didn't they know someone great had gone out of our midst? For weeks I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach, and was unable to take a deep enough breath. He's been gone 13 years now, and although life is sweet again, I can still cry at the drop of a hat - just a passing thought of him brings the tears to my eyes. I am praying for your comfort, and for a companion.

Angie said...

Awww, it is going to take a while. But do be careful, I have been there crying while driving and it can be dangerous. Sending prayers your way.

Heather said...

I cry at the drop of a hat, I can be flicking channels on tv and see images of a funeral and the tears start. Tears are a part of me. My family would start worrying if they didn't see me cry every now and then.

ocean said...

For me, the shower is one place I feel I can cry and nobody will notice. I lost my Mom in February and I still have LOTS of moments when I find myself in tears from the smallest things. It does get better though.

Bored@Work said...

I'm like Heather, I cry at everything. But when my grandmother passed away last year I tried really hard not to, to be strong for my mom and my sisters. I couldn't do it. Something changed in my relationship with my 13 year old sister when she held my hand as I sobbed.

You gotta let it out somehow. We're all thinking about you lady.

Jen @ tatertotsandjello.com said...

I'm so sorry. It's so hard to lose someone close to you. I felt that way after my dad passed away suddenly. They say that your grief will hit you in waves. But you need to let it out. It's good that you are letting yourself grieve.

Thinking of you.


Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

Oh honey my heart is just breaking for you. Wish we could all come over and hold your hand.

It's okay to cry in front of all the others. In fact, it might help them.

Kristin said...

I cry in the shower and my car. I feel like I can actually grieve without having to worry about anyone else, without having to take care of or comfort someone else. Wishing you all the best as you continue this new journey without your brother, it seems like you two were very close.

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