May 21, 2010

Grief and the Single Lady

I wish I were writing about "Sex and the Single Lady" but not this month.

I am talking about grief and being alone. Do I have my dad and great friends and family? Yes.

But there is something to be said for having a man in your life.

A man to hold you and tell you it is all going to be okay.

A man who protects you and has your back.

A man who will chase away the boogie man at night when you find it so hard to sleep.

If I slept one hour a night for the two weeks after my brother died, that is a lot. You see, I couldn't sleep. I was so scared. I don't know why but I just couldn't.

And, I have not slept with my back to the bedroom door since my brother died. Again, I am scared.

There is so much on my mind. So many questions that I believe will unfortunately remain unanswered.

But it would have been so comforting to be wrapped in the arms of someone who was solely on my side.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,
and you will see that in truth you are weeping
for that which has been your delight."
Kahlil Gibran

6 comments:

Kathy said...

Goodmorning Carmie.
I sent you an email. Sorry, it took me a couple of days. I have been thinking of and praying for you,
God Bless,
Kathy

Julia said...

I've been thinking of you and praying for you.

Mary Ellen said...

Yes, Carmie... there is something to be said for having someone to lean on... but I'm thinking how going through something as tragic as this, on your own, might be a way for you to gain insight into how strong and capable you really are. Hang on, girl and keep writing... we are here for you!
-ME xo

The Girly Tomboy said...

This is so true - it's hard to be single when times are tough. No matter how independent we are, it's always nice to have someone to hold you and comfort you. It's hard to admit that sometimes.

Leslie said...

I can understand where you come from. When my mom died ~ the events the followed where a horrid nightmare and I completely shut down. I am so greatful for Paul during that time. He was a rock.

He will come.. when you least expect it.

Leslie @ Farm Fresh Fun said...

I'm back to say I'm thinkin about you and prayin hard for you to feel God's loving arms wrapped 'round you... After my Father died I did find comfort cuddling hubby or kids, BUT... Grief isolates us all and is very hard to share no matter what. In my case even I couldn't understand all I was feeling so how could anyone else? So glad you were able to open up and sob to someone! It will pas s l o w l y .
((HUGS)))
Leslie

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