I have the names of the individuals who were so cruel to my brother that it led him to take his life. I love the Blog World but before and even after his death, the Blog World was not nice to my brother.
I am even angry at some family members.
I cannot let all the good work my brother did throughout his life, expressed to me by the thousands that came to his wake and funeral, be forgotten by the select few A$$holes who treated him so poorly.
Hate and anger are a perfectly acceptable stage to be in. I won't dwell in this phase for long, I am sure. But I will experience it and work my way through it, no matter how long it takes and no matter who tells me that anger is not good.
I am feeling I need to exact some revenge or tell people how I feel. Some who even had the balls to attend the wake and funeral and "comfort" my father and my family.
What f'n jerks. Who treats someone like crap and then attend their funeral? You know who? People who are filled with GUILT!
One of my brother's friends told me the other day to not stand too close to these people because when lightening strikes them, you don't want to be too close.
Feeling all of this, I decided it was time for some divine intervention. So I visited a priest today.
He was wonderful! I started out sobbing like crazy. It felt really good to sob. Boy did it ever since I have tried to be strong in front of my family. Out it came. By the end of the meeting, I felt better.
For the moment. Later? Who knows. I can only take it one day, one moment at a time.
"If possible, on your part, live at peace with all.
Beloved, do not look for revenge but leave room for the wrath;
for it is written, 'Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.'
Rather, if your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink;
for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.
Do not be conquered by evil but conquer evil with good.