Yesterday I was feeling, well, emotional.
I went for a walk in the cold sunshine.
I brought some tissues with me in case I broke down while taking my strides. I didn't need the tissues that is, until I arrived home.
I am a very passionate person. However, passion is missing from what should be the two most important parts of my life; Vocation and love.
For over 2 decades, I have been trying to figure out what I should be when I grow up. The problem is, I am grown up and I have not found that vocation that makes me bounce out of bed in the morning, excited to start my day.
I pray and meditate and wait for answers but they don't seem to be coming. Or, maybe I am just deaf.
I thought I would be married with school-age kids by now but that has not happened. At one time, I wanted children and even though my eggs have not dried up yet, I don't see that happening unless my future mate has children of his own. In this case, I will love them as if they were mine.
Quite honestly, I really just wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. But, I am not so on to Plan B. But, what the heck is Plan B?
Sometimes, I feel like these ducks I photographed over the weekend on a river near me. All calm on the top of the water but a mess underneath, peddling like heck just to stay afloat.
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.' " - Erma Bombeck